Defining moments typically involve a decision to change some aspect of our lives in order to gain a better experience. These pivot points in life can be a new beginning, the continued growth of our good, or the end of what no longer serves us well. Yet when these opportunities present themselves, we sometimes stall out with indecision, confusion, and uncertainty.
Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest roadblocks to positive change. It may seem easier to sidestep the decision altogether rather than face an unfamiliar and unpredictable future. “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know,” as the Irish proverb warns. Yet avoidance is just a passive choice with one certain outcome: we abdicate our personal power to others and our best interest will be forgotten. People on a spiritual path also tend to over-analyze a challenging situation and stay far longer than is necessary (analysis paralysis), or circumvent difficult feelings with feel-good practices and platitudes and jump from the frying pan into the fire (spiritual bypass). The key, then, is to understand to a reasonable degree what we are leaving and why, and move in a direction that supports and encourages our continued positive growth.*
Which Way Do I Go?
Moving On – When we move on, there is a connection or attachment to someone or something from which we depart as well as toward which we progress. We move on to a new topic of conversation, relationship, or job from one that has run its course. But what has transpired remains somehow with us, and that can be to our benefit if done with the right intention. It may serve us well to retain the information from the discussion, but not continue to rehash word for word to prove ourselves right, for example. From Buddhism, the path of non-attachment offers an end to suffering. But non-attachment is not separation; it is allowing life to flow continuously without constraint or forced outcome. When we move on with our lives in any respect, we step into wholeness by integrating the life we have lived with our unfolding tomorrows.
It's time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It's time to move on, it's time to get going
- Tom Petty, “Time to Move On”
Moving Out – By definition, moving out is a way of escaping from a problem or dilemma. We commonly move out of a home that is no longer right for us. Perhaps it is the physical structure itself that no longer serves us, or the relationships and lifestyles contained within the walls that are ready for transformation. In dream psychology, a house represents the self. For example, a house that appears in need of repair may be a subconscious message for healing, while a beautiful, new home next to the sea may signal a deep desire for peace and pleasure. Whatever the circumstance, moving out of a difficult situation can free us from conditions of confinement or control in order to grow in a more positive way.
Moving Up – As the theme song of the ‘70’s sitcom, “The Jeffersons” suggests, moving up is an up-leveling from our current state of being to a higher station, to “a deluxe apartment in the sky”. It may be a move up the corporate ladder to a better paying position, or an upgrade in our worldly status such as when we succeed in our endeavors, gain even greater material good, or earn the respect of others; the moments when, like George and Weezie, we feel “we finally got a piece of the pie.” We also move up in consciousness when we raise our perspectives beyond our current patterns of thought and avail ourselves to new possibilities. Moving up in both the material and spiritual realms require us to break the mold of the person we have been up to this point and embrace a greater expression of ourselves.
Moving Away – Moving away may be the most dynamic path of change because it necessitates the freedom to move in a completely different direction. In the physical world, geographic mobility is a frequent aspect of American life, with an average of 12 moves in a lifetime (US Census Bureau). Spiritually, true enlightenment often requires moving away from the ideas that bind our souls and tether our lives. Whether we use a literal or metaphorical moving van, we leave behind what we have known before (such as friends or negativity) and embark on adventure with only that which will serve us moving forward. When we move away, we release any attachment to what has been and start anew with fresh perspective, intention, and possibility.
"Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
– Albert Einstein
Making a move in any direction is that it can feel like a manufactured outcome when really, it is has been a long time coming. As you contemplate life’s infinite opportunities for change, consider
What is it that you are leaving or changing?
Are you running away or taking an affirmative stance for a better life?
Are you willing to let go of the stuff (belongings and beliefs) that keep you in the situation?
While there is value in accepting the good in what is, there is disadvantage in denying the good that could be. As a life-rich aunt shared on her 93rd birthday, “Only you know when you need a change.” By making conscious decisions to grow and become an even more magnificent expression of our highest nature, we unleash our potential when we move in a positive direction.
* If you or someone you love is in an abusive situation, please seek safe harbor immediately. For support and resources, please visit:
U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services, ACF, FYSB Resource Library
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/resource/help-fv
The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/help/
References
"Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings" by Gregory Y. Titelman (Random House, New York, 1996).
“Movin’ on Up” by Jeff Barry and Ja’net Dubois (1975) http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/thejeffersonslyrics.html
“Seasonality of Moves and the Duration and Tenure of Residence: 2004”by Matthew C. Marlay and Alison K. Fields (US Census Bureau, July, 2010. Revised January 18, 2018)
© Nancy Noack and Mighty Oak Ministries International, 2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.